Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
