do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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