just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
