I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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