your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
