Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
