i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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