I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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