just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
