She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
