the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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