Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
