my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
