pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
