He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I will be naked everywhere
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
