There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
