I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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