my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
