My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
