3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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