can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
