she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
