What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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