I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
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I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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