i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize