For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
