If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
