dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize