So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
