just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
