I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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