i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
