You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
