I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
