She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
