I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
