Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
