the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
