Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
