Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
