Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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