My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
