Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
