its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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