Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
