I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
