Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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