today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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