when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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