the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
