dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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