Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
