a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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