Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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