you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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