There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
