CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize