I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
