"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
