he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
