Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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