Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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