I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
