I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have aggressive nipples.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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