North Korea, Best Korea!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
