Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
